Nineteenth Duel [Text/Voice Post, Japanese]

[to_blossom]

...

[There is an extremely long pause that follows once the recording starts. One that almost makes you wonder if Utena meant to turn on her communicator at all. But then she lets out a heavy sigh, and the faintest sound of a pillow being squeezed tightly between her arms can be heard.]

I'm... ...not very good at this, am I?

Prydain and Seifer... you were both counting on me, and I only let you down... I let myself be controlled, and acted out selfishly. I forgot who it was that I was really supposed be protecting in the first place, and in the end...

...

I couldn't protect anyone at all.



...I'm sorry.

[Click.]

[[ooc After watching so many of her friends die right in front of her and recalling how she was affected by the chip, Utena has been moping around in her room for the last two days and cutting herself off from mostly everyone else. - I'm sorry for the lack of tags during the event itself. I was having some unexpected voice issues.]]

Comments

[to-blossom.livejournal.com]

That's what I keep hearing... and I know it's the truth. There's no doubt about that.

I'm just... not used to being so helpless, you know? No one should have to go through anything like that, Umi. Especially... when I told myself that I wouldn't let things like that happen to my friends. ...But they did all the same.

...This place is just too much for me.

[embracethewaves.livejournal.com]

I... Yeah, I know. I know what you mean...somehow this place always finds new ways to mess with people. I think Shinjiro's right, too...it would've been different if we hadn't left the city.

Next time...if there is a next time, we'll all stick together. And we'll make sure no one gets hurt.

This place is too much for anyone on their own.

[to-blossom.livejournal.com]

Umi...

[...] I might not have much room to talk, but... that doesn't seem very fair either. There was no way that you guys would have known that something like this would happen. That's why you decided to leave the city, right? You trusted that feeling, and us.

I think... that it would drive you just as crazy to consider what it would be like if you did stay, so... you should hang in there too, okay?

I- [A pause, and then she takes a deep breath.] I think I'm going to try to do my best with that too.

[embracethewaves.livejournal.com]

Not fair, huh?... Maybe you're right. It was all really...bad timing, in the end, huh? Still, I wish we had been here...even if it could've been bad for us, too.

I will. I think we'll be okay, and if we're not...that's why we all stick together, right? To help each other out.